Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Before and After Darkness

There was darkness.

There was a kernel of light.

Ad infinitum.

Hello again. I don't suppose you have ended up here wanting to read my year in review? You kind of have. During micropauses of clarity free cycles of brain processing power started on this piece about a week ago.

By now I think my interesting career choice is well established in the public metaverse. I have had a particularly challenging year which I initially thought of describing as a rollercoasting drunken dragon omnibus segueing from catastrophe to climax.

This all seemed a bit wordy even for me.

The year of the horse scarred me. Literally. During my birthday festivities I crawled into a door frame splitting my forehead open. This was the beginning of a far grander purpose. I flew around the world three times on fools errands. I visited dark and strange places. I met some interesting people. I revisited some old haunts with a fresh perspective.

Ultimately my bouts of darkness allowed some light to be let in. Light seems a bit mellow. Lasers are light aren't they?

Perhaps my forehead being split open was my third eye being opened? It is shame that my fools errands had me drooling in jet lag induced torpor for so much of the year.

Magical September was when things got very introverted. Again I don't think words can explain what was happening. I do like this picture though.

Now imagine feeling the full spectrum of that picture entering your whole being with a particularly wise Witch Dogtor sitting on your lap. This became normal. More things became interesting.

The year of the horse became one of balance. Very important when one tangles with the equine.

The darkness still comes. Just a week ago I felt excessively human about my whole situation.

Stranger still are the jolting laser bolt synchronicities which put me back in the saddle.

I look forward to seeing a lot of you in person next year.

Goat trumps Horse.


Sunday, 26 October 2014

Gibraltar, Crosses and Crossing

You have probably heard of distasteful locations be described as the armpits of Europe/Africa/Gore ect. Gibraltar does not even rank in distasteful armpits. I would describe it as the discarded but fondly remembered toenail of the once powerful British empire.

Still, they are proud of it. Proud that it remains resolutely English in the face of Spain. Proud of its large and dizzying array of English comfort food. Food that ships stopping in Gibraltar must stock up on because Capitalism has not supplied unwholesome convenience food to every corner of the explored universe. It appears someone neglected to tell the English that their food is not in fact food. If you are English and reading this you now know.

We did leave Gibraltar for Bermuda in the end. Gods be damned. It has been a very peaceful crossing. We left Satellite television coverage after about 2 days. I take great pride in telling people I would rather watch a discarded toenail than Sky News. Sky News is Fox News with an English accent.

Recent changes in my neural pathways have left me finding the mainstream media about as palatable as English food. It has become clear that a narrow unhealthy narrative must be maintained how ever stupid it is. This commercially sensitive narrative is at odds with common sense.

Take Terrorism.

Personally I look at the almost monthly school shootings happening in America as acts of Terrorism and a far more real/quantifiable threat to America than ISIS.

A broad definition of Terrorism would say that these are not politically motivated.

I would then ask why are American politicians not politically motivated to sort out gun control?

When I got to spend time in Seattle. I got told about the history of gun control in America, bring your gun to work day and other quaint little oddities. These were all told to me by a perfectly sane American and it is all insane.

Guns are a constitutional right so the people can form Militia and do noble things. Where are these Militia? They were nowhere to be seen last month when this polar bear was put in jail for protesting against climate change.


Back at sea I have settled into the monotony that is an Atlantic crossing quite well. I have kept a healthy routine of meditation, exercise, crew mess and bridge banter. I have also performed many important technical tasks such as live streaming the Kiwis thumping Australia at the Rugby League into key areas where Australians are found.

We arrive in Bermuda on Wednesday. I will travel to New Zealand on the Thursday arriving on Saturday via America. I will not be struck down with Ebola. I will not be affected by Terrorism.

Create your own news.


I googled how to stop viewing a particular news site that I don't want to read but I always end up reading. It's like the KFC of news sites. Google took me to the particular website. Anyway like most things there is an app for doing this just self censorship.

Look up block site.

Please don't block me, that would be a most strange outcome and feedback loop.

Saturday, 18 October 2014

Thor, Rage, Hurricanes and Horses

It became obvious last week that at some point I had angered the gods. Not the conventional gods but an ancient and fearsome pantheon of tyrants. In a continuing effort to get closer to my Swedish brethren I have been indulging in Vikings and watching Sweden play in the European football qualifiers.

The main protagonist in Vikings is a deliciously mischievous fellow named Ragnar. In between wanton pillaging, ruling and loving he takes a bit of time out to reflect with the earth tree Yggdrasil. Voyages to England are always fraught with Thor beating his hammer and raining lighting down upon his mast. Being that we have been in a shipyard you would think I would be well out of the way of Thor. It appears not.

I am currently working on a modestly sized Super Yacht. She is still quite large though as these photos attest. That is quite a big bulldozer pushing and hauling her into the water. Last Sunday we had a huge thunder storm roll through. This thunderstorm reminded me I am very much human.

I had an invertor fail on one of our UPS's.

I had the power supply on a B&O television die
I had a CCTV camera go to Valhalla.
I had a raid hard drive fall in battle.

I took this all in my stride. When we went back into the water I had a very fraught couple of hours as parts of the ships network decided to not network as we went back on power. Given that Thor looks after electricity he surely is the God that good ETO's should pay attention to.

On Thursday Loki visited and I entered a blood fuelled bezerking rage. One of our tenders has had some serious work done to it. The dash board was removed and I diligently removed all of the instruments so they could be reattached when the dashboard was returned with new leather. I did this in an upright and standing position generally a good place to work from. 

When the dashboard was returned the carpenters mounted it and and left the instruments upside down and back to front. This meant I had to work upside down and back to front. This was quite unnecessary and quite aggravating. A lot of blood surged to my head during this orientation. I have not felt such wanton desire for destruction and anger in a long time. I may have cursed so much that one of our deckhands was too scared to offer me help. After much bleeding, bleating and bashing I reassembled the dashboard and left the tender hoping it would spontaneously combust or sink, neither of them realistic but maybe Thor was watching.

It now appears Thor has been watching. Our trip across Atlantic has been stalled with hurricane season cutting a swathe through our intended paths. Every planned route is calculated and a new hurricane sprouts up to cause havoc. I take weather very seriously. The last patch of very bad weather I was in lead to a man over board. Vikings tended to leave men get washed out to sea but modern maritime convention takes a different approach and for that I am glad.

It is here I must wrap up. I have been noticing nice little events over the past little while. I like to call them synchronicities. My fear of horses is well documented. Earlier in the year I was quite aggravated with the year of the horse. It has thrown me off many a time. A month ago our neigbour offered to graze our land with a horse. Without even a blink I said sure. I got thinking a little while back that accepting a horse to coexist with me was the best demonstration of how far things have progressed. In the year of the horse I allowed a horse into my life and it and myself were glad.

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Thoughts and thinking

I felt it was about time to share some moments from the past week. It has been a week of learning and reintegrating into my double life.

Long plane flights are great opportunities for meditation as are Airports. Add public and not so public places when you have twenty minutes up your sleeve. I will never be early for anything again. Just making good use of time.

It was always going to be a little bit jarring coming into Barcelona and my job again. Luckily the good work I did at home has come with me. As I said before it hard to sum up my time at home in a couple of sentences. I did make an earnest attempt in the crew mess with one of the Deckhands. His reply was unintentionally insightful.

"So you've got weirder Dan"

I love this. May we all become weirder. We need more weirdness.

Anna; I regret that my time at home did not include more careful attention to washing pots and pans. I do believe in some way the universe was relaxing and contracting around me causing matter to become attached firmly to curved surfaces. I am glad I installed the horse mower to take care of the abundance of grass that was sprouting around the house.

I once tried to describe Barcelona to a couple of residents. There is so much decay/renewal/change the place seems to be in the flux of over ripeness. It is exactly three years from when I lived here for 6 months. It remains mind blowing. Such a bustle.

I have made two worthwhile excursions out of the walls of the shipyard. The first was to shoot the breeze with a Carpenter named Tudor. One thing I love about my friends is an understated ability to converse on a diverse range of topics. It is funny what pops up sometimes. Recently I have been reading about the Mayans and Tudor showed me some photos of a Mayan temple themed coffee table he had made. What a conversation piece.

My second trip was to visit an Ex Captain. He has a Pug and a new baby. Of course I asked about the Pug first. His Pug believes he is his equal and when he goes out for a walk and stops for a pint the Dog has to get on a bar stool so he can be at the same level. Self leveling Pugs I know much of these things.

There was another Captain with us and the conversation veered towards real estate. Both Captains had experienced varying degrees of unrestrained feminine peculiarities searching for homes. How proud was I to say that my Wife made a ranked spreadsheet of properties and we purchased the one at the top of our list.

It is a little strange being in Barcelona without Sam and Nancy. The are still in season mode and I fear I will not see them this year but we will see.

I have had two notable I am getting old moments in the last year. The first was discovering a large and prominent grey hair sprouting from my arm. The second was on Monday when I got my shipyard security card updated. I kept my photo from three years ago.

I have had challenges this week and I have felt old memories stir, fade and disappear. I think this is healthy.

Be a bit weirder ;-).

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Under a tree

I have been looking for a way to sum up the last couple of months. It has largely been a series of steps in multiple directions. I fear putting it all out there might cheapen its meaning but I do have a tale from today.

This morning I dropped our continental car off to be serviced. I then walked across town to meet some new friends. It takes a long time to make friends in small towns but I think I met some quality candidates today. They have a drone photography business.  He had a drone laboratory where he makes drones and he showed me a 3D printer which he uses to make parts with. I have been wanting a 3D printer for a long time but have not had a good enough reason with  WAF (Wife Acceptance Factor)

The car took a long time to be serviced. I drifted through Kerikeri which is painfully small when you are trying to while time away. I ended up in a library and spent a couple of hours with books and myself. I did a walk pass of the car and saw that it was still being worked on. I then went and did something which I can't remember doing for a very long time.

I sat under a tree. It was not a tree that was sat under very often. The tree looked a bit lost.

Sitting under a tree might not seem that exciting but when you give it all of your attention it becomes very enlivening. It was a nice time to think about the last two months. What has transgressed and enjoy the fortified self I have constructed. Time spent looking within has given me new ways to look at the outside world. I feel more a part of the world again.

An hour or so later I went back to the mechanic. Its was there I had a brainwave. I need that 3D printer to print off the ridiculously expensive car parts our car seems to eat alive.

Monday, 1 September 2014

Dog Blog

If there has been a constant during the last month it has been the unwavering dogness of our Dog Ruby. She has developed quite a knack for dog modeling. Channeling a variety of poses and very rarely being camera shy. There was a time when she would not sit still but time observing me meditating has given her new abilities.

Such a clever dog.

Thursday, 21 August 2014

New Mux

I spent a couple of days selecting tracks and creating a mix. I played around with an idea I had a long time ago by choosing song titles which tell a story in themselves. Enjoy.

Sunday, 10 August 2014

A foot note

I made it to the Monastery. Would you believe I was afraid? It is about a 30 minutes drive away. I was a taken back by its beauty and peace. I had forgotten how neat it is to be around monks. I meditated and chanted with them for 1 hour. I then listened to some wisdom and shared how I had fallen into their company. I explained how hard and overwhelming I had found buying food for them at the supermarket. Afterwards we drank tea outside in the garden.

We shared stories and experiences. I told them of my very material job and other things. The moment of inspiration or clarity. The second monk said.

"Through meditation Dan, one day you may stand in a supermarket and be surrounded by the calmness that is the ocean."


Saturday, 9 August 2014

Bewilderment Found.

In what has been my toughest year in living memory, last night in a week of perpetually evolving introspection I had a thunderbolt of dizzying confusion. But let us step to the side of this treadmill and frame the scene. All of my intuitive readers will know I had quasi-breakdown in the middle of the ocean in the middle of the year.

I may not have known it at a time but I did. My solution for my breakdown was a week in Berlin which shall henceforth be known as the Zebra Toned Berlin Bandaid experiment. Whilst this experiment did patch me up enough to get here it was always a bandaid and the bandaid is now hanging in my wardrobe. I am not sure I will wear that armour again.

My return home as afforded me a lot of time by myself and an absence of distraction. I have became disenamoured with my usual distractions and have become attracted inward. Introspection is a strange beast it feeds itself like a black hole and seeks more introspection. On Tuesday I decided I would seek formal training in meditation. Romantically & stupidly I always thought I would always have to climb a mountain and go off the grid to do this. It turns out you don't have to go very far at all. I have found a local monastery and will attend a Sunday session tomorrow.

Some of my readers may be tut tutting at this thought but I will now present you with a counter.

"Have you ever met an annoying Buddhist?"

I am most certainly not going down this path merely plucking a facet I wish to incorporate into my way of life. There is a perfectly scientific reasoning for this.

Cortisol is the stress hormone.
Meditation lowers cortisol very effectively.

Anyway this is all deep and heady stuff let us get back to the punchline, the bewilderment if you will.

I asked the monastery what I needed to take with me. Very fittingly and wisely they asked me to bring some food for the monk. This might seem easy for someone who has a thorough knowledge of food or the desires of the enlightened. The people in my life who have seemed temporarily enlightened in some capacity have always had a complete and wanton disregard for food. Me myself? Well I could quite happily eat the same three meals for the rest of my life.

Right I thought I will ask this weird consciousness that we are all attached to and this is where it gets really bizarre. Google provides a dearth of useless pages detailing the heady dietary concerns of various Buddhists. Some of them are vegetarians. Some of them are root vegetable challenged. Some of them eat some meats at some times of the year. Some spices are ok. Some fruits may or may not be in favour given the current calendar day. The thunderbolt had landed.

This all gets all the more frustrating when you try to acquire food walking this tightrope of choice. Surely I should be growing this food myself, blessing it in my own way and nurturing it into being. I then thought I would go to a supermarket. Oh the humanity. After a week of navel gazing a supermarket provides a jarringly sharp insight into what Monks are not.

Anyway the real point on this blog post is to provide an easily acquired shopping list for someone who wants to provide a Monk some food in exchange for some Meditation training. After seemingly hours of wandering this is the best I could come up with.

  • A modest sack of high quality rice. The packaging is very important it should be sack like and not have the words Uncle or Ben on it.
  • A netted bag of apples
  • A large bag of mixed nuts and dried fruit. "Sunshine" brand
  • A variety of high quality soup mixes

I hope this will be ok. I do have a loophole. Google says they accept money as Koha as well.

Monday, 7 July 2014

Size Downing

Pull up a chair, I have. For the past few weeks I have been relishing the experience that a smaller yacht and workplace provides. I joined my latest home on the 6th of June. I had a late night learning the boats systems and to be honest I may have been a little bit tired from my time in Berlin(not sure why?). I commenced work on the 7th and our charter started at about 12pm the next day.

It has been a couple of years since I have worked on a conventional sized yacht. It has been a couple of years since I have worked during a conventional carter. I have always felt there is a sweet spot for yachting. Boats between 65-80 meters have enough crew that you can have a different conversation each day. You still get to dock in marinas as opposed to commercial docks. You also get to be in port a lot more often. So what has really struck me upon downsizing?

  • The boat is surprisingly big. It has everything one would need for a good charter. There is a lack of DJ equipment. I will remedy this.
  • We have a very good crew here. It is a very busy yacht and only really stands down when we are in a shipyard. One day turn arounds are the norm and as such everyone is very organised and efficient. We have to be.
  • I have learned everyones names inside a month. It took me a year to learn everyones names on board my last long term job. The revolving door on my previous vessel meant learning names was futile.
  • Smaller work places mean a wider scope of responsibilities. I have been doing things I haven't done before. This is good.
  • Much more banter.
  • I am working with Swedes again. My hard fought for Swedish has come flooding back. Wait for the impending Swedish lesson. I have a choice and very useful phrase already.
  • Swedes are still funny.
  • Australians still swear a lot.
  • I have seen more sunlight here than I did in the whole of last year.
Our charter finished. We received thank you notes. I had forgotten normal people leave thank you notes when they depart a yacht. Our owner arrived a few days later. As is usual I cant say who it is. All I can really say is that they have some very illustrious friends.

I did have a notably expensive hair cut in Port Cervo. It was 100 euro all up including some hair product. I have not paid for a hair cut since an ill fated one in Viareggio where my nose was invaded and eyebrows mortally aggrieved. That was 4 years a go so I took the heinous price on the chin.

Today marks three weeks exactly three weeks until I begin my long commute home. It's been a while. I am very much looking forward to it.

Finally? enjoy some photos. No post processing just looking outside a bit more.

Friday, 13 June 2014

A couple of days should do it

This was my overriding feeling when I jumped ship. A couple of days with friends in a fresh city. Some exploring and some escapades and I would be back to new. I needed these days to get my sorely tested head in order. There was some relief in leaving but there was also an unhealthy amount of sadness mixed in. 

I flew German Wings to Berlin. Top marks for leg room GW. A minus for only having bread for meals and no vodka. Berlin snuck up on me like a pastel impressionists legopolis (new word). It's certainly a very green and attractive city in Summer. 

I taxied quite swiftly to Michael Pattisons house/studio/kitchen/urban yoga platform and busied myself with reacquainting myself with a good friend. When looking for a place to visit Mr Pattison appeared in a zebra print tennis two piece (at least that's what I hoped it was) on my Facebook stream.  This therefore was the logical place to go. 

Michael and his husband Ole. Ole is throwing a gangsign naturally. 

Michaels abode was quite busy. He was creating clothes for a shoot. Cooking dinner for his husband, clearing his mind with yoga and would like to learn how to DJ for good measure. After some liquid persuasion I volunteered my services. It would only take a couple of hours, maybe three if he decided to do something else mid lesson. There were a lot of transient circus type people visiting. I am not exaggerating so the next morning I thought I would go for a long walk and clear my head. 

Berlin on the ground was an altogether disjointing experience. History tells a tale of two cities but I could feel at least five or six in my wanderings. There are themes of many cultures and places running through it. 

Doesn't look like a city does it?  I expect it looks much more sparse in Winter but in Summer it's a green and rich place. 

I found a hotel to move into. It was large and functionally opulent and it here I must talk about native Berlinites. They are very German. To be fair you would not notice them unless you deviate from the laws of Berlin. Being a devout pedestrian is one of the rules. If you disobey the road rules you will be shouted at. You will also be spoken to firmly if you occupy a full lane in a supermarket eyeing up 2 kilo bags of haribo. There are many other rules I am sure but I only broke two in my time. 

I am sure I would've broken more if I had more time. Sadly my time did not fall over a weekend. Berlin is arrestingly hedonist, probably due to the many rules. I managed to find much silliness on week days. I also found good food thanks to chef du parti Pattison. I didn't eat out except for McDonalds which agrieved a German friend. I did need some McDonalds during my circumnavigation what else would one eat ?

On my last full day DJ training began in earnest. Michael whipped me up a Zebra print shirt which is the last of a proud line. It is a very festive looking number and will probably be trotted out at splore or a suitable festival, maybe the Kerikeri farmers market? I met more interesting people and shared some of my interesting tales that grow by the month. 

It was a little sad to say goodbye but I felt nourished and happier for my time in Berlin. Just what I needed before I began writing my own story again. 

Monday, 26 May 2014

The Dark Ages

I can't imagine to explain some of the weird/strange and downright preposterous behavior I have witnessed in the last few weeks. A culmination of things has made for a thunderously perfect storm. It wouldn't be wise to speak of the most controversial items but let it be known I have been deeply agitated.

A slight digression. My most unpopular phrase at the moment.

"it is what it is"

Usually uttered by someone with less life experience than a premature mushroom spore.

It may be it but it is still shit and I do not accept it.

Troublesome owners would be my biggest concern here and I have experienced a few.

I am a deeply sensitive person and I refuse to accept the poor treatment of anyone. People turning a blind eye to abuse because it doesn't affect them directly makes me very ANGRY.

"A rich pig is still a pig" and you can quote ME on that.

Anyway. I have been rescued from my predicament by my fairy god mother recruitment agent.

I have a new boat to join. I am downsizing but I think it is time. It is a boat coming home as well which for many yachties is a dream.

Time to live it again.

Sunday, 27 April 2014

A Very Large Week

And on the Seventh day he rested..... Maybe.

Well that has to be one of the most intense weeks of my life.

I can't remember a time when my brain ached more from crackling synapses. I arrived in France last Sunday in a pretty good state. My flight(s) went smoothly and my only angst was felt in the cavernous Dubai airport which for reasons unbeknownst has a million curiously busy toilets and a swathe of people seemingly living inside the airport.

I landed in Nice and was greeted with a grand sight. A driver carrying a name board with the clan name McConnell. Let it be known that I still am humble and to see my first driver carrying a name board made me very happy indeed.

Soon enough I was on board my newest Mega Yacht. The ship was running a drill soon after I arrived so I dodged this drill by hanging in my temporary cabin. I was at pains to explain that utilizing me in a drill after 40 hours of travelling would be very dangerous. The drill soon took out all of the lighting in my cabin. This was by design but luckily enough like all good ETO's I had packed a head torch.

I met my rotation partner who was very friendly, very knowledgeable and very German. I soon learned that we had no Radio system and we would attempt a repair the next morning.

"Everything was going fine until we tried to fix something"

Power cycling is sometimes bad. When we power cycled the rack which supplies the brains to the radio system one of our core switches did not turn back on. The other switch lost its marbles. Neither switch had been turned off for 4 years. I won't share more technical details but needless to say the rest of the week was spent fixing problems and trying to get a full and comphrehensive understanding over the numerous and very complicated systems.

I thought I had an endless appetite for technology but after a week of ramming my brain with passwords/address's/names/procedures I am deeply tired. I have started to question why we need so many blackberries? Why do stewardess's need iPads to read napkin folding books? Why do Chefs need iPads to read recipes? It goes on and on and on.

Compounding this week has been the very real and present threat of Guests who have been using the boat. Stealth has been needed for and being quiet.

I did take time to draw some diagrams which have served me well.

Today my rotation partner left. I am all alone but I do now have a batcave to call my own. We should have a few days to catch our breaths before it all begins again. I am hoping to see a Nancyless Sam who flew away today. Do you remember Sam? The quintessential English man?

Did I tell you I am tired already? zzzzz.

Saturday, 19 April 2014

Back to the France

And so it begins again. One more journey to France. Another boat to learn. A Mediterranean summer and all of the grind and trimmings. Its been a couple of years since I was in France. I expect things are much the same. France is infinitely more attractive when you have employment. It is also a great place to catch up with Yachties. Sam and Nancy my friends from Barcelona are there until the end of the month so I shall do my best to catch up with them. It has been a while........

Expect a few updates as I wring a bit more inspiration out of Côte d'Azur. Hopefully I will not need to resort to drink. Much.

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Chapter Closed

And so ends one of the more trying, ridiculous periods of my life. My foray into Holland ended awkwardly with me flying home after 6 days. I thought things were going well but I was given flights home with no reasoning. To say I was furious is an understatement. Two months of wasted time, countless emails. Five interviews and at every stage I was told things were progressing well.

I still don't have a reason but after countless hours of musing.

"I was not posh enough"

Needless to say my brain toiled on the 30 hour flight home coming up with wise and pointed things to unleash from my fingers at the vessel. I would sink it with vicious verse. To this very morning I was still going to write this angry email but I lost motivation when I got offered another much more suitable position.

Yacht recruitment is a strange and curious beast. A lot of the good jobs are never advertised. The crew agents spam Captains and HOD's with hundreds of CV's and it is very hard to get that face to face interview. After a couple of weeks of badgering crew agents I did have a bit of a brainwave.....

I have not been doing much writing and I would write my way out of this predicament. My words have always served me well but over the last year I have abandoned them. So I wrote a covering letter/story which tells my tale. I solicited some good luck from proven candidates. I then had the good fortune to find out about a position that was not advertised. 5 days later I have a job offer and will be flying to Europe next week.

There is a nice symmetry with this. It is five years ago just after easter Anna and I began our tentative steps as Sailors.

Five years at sea. 

Doesn't that have a nice ring to it?


I am not counting my chickens just yet. However I hope my next update will be a happy one from the wrong side of the planet.

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Holland. Days. Source.

So for the last 48 days I have been engaged in a long waltz of sorts. This dance has been a recruitment jig of epic proportions. The latest step sees me flying for London tonight to meet an owners representative. If this goes well I should be in Holland at the end of the week on a new boat. Given the length of time, extreme vetting and levels of secrecy that is about all I can say about that.

But let us talk about Holland or the Netherlands. I have never been. My level of knowledge is about the same as what I knew about Sweden before I started working with Swedes all those years ago. Let me list the things I know

  • Windmills
  • Bicycles
  • Tulips
  • Good shipbuilders
  • Funny shoes
And that is about it. Given that I will be in Holland for good amount of time I think I should be able to impart more than a few kernels of wisdom.

It will be nice to be back in Europe again. My life will be turned upside down by the inverse time zone change but I shall be flying there in a direct straight line. Look at the route I had to take in November to get to the Caribbean.

The red line is the route I took. Auckland>Hong Kong>Vancouver>New York>Saint Martin

As an added bonus I got to stop in Manilla as a passenger had a medical problem. 

This didn't feel terribly right. If things don't feel right, chances are they probably are not.

See you on the other side.

Monday, 17 February 2014

The Karl Pilkington Insomnia Cure

Knock knock.

It's been a while. Some major page turning in my life underway at the moment and I will share that with you shortly. In the mean time I thought I would share an incredible insomnia cure which helps when you have more than a few thoughts on the mind.

For the past year I have been using Karl Pilkington to speak me a lullaby in his deliciously flat Manchurian accent when I can not sleep.

Who is Karl Pilkington?

Well, he was unearthed by Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant when they used to have a radio show. He quickly went from being the producer to the star of the show with his dead pan observations on the world at large and small.

You can collect the original podcasts on iTunes

Given the hilarious content it might be hard to sleep, especially if you have not had the pleasure of listening before.

For a more raw stronger dose I recommend using the original XFM episodes which can be freely found on youtube.

With the original shows you get increasing amounts of Karl which you can use to treat even the most severe case of Insomnia.

A small warning with increased use you may find yourself walking up when there is no Karl Pilkington playing. So set up a playlist and enjoy your sleep.