Thursday, 19 April 2012

How to have an EPIC weekend

On the weekend just past I concocted a recipe of sorts for having an EPIC weekend.

It began averagely enough, I had agreed to spend a day with three of the deck lads. They are all considerably younger than me and prone to dare devil stunts and flights of fancy. In my agreeable state I said I would go along and make sure nobody was injured and local customs were obeyed.

We drove around the island towards Police bay where there was heaving surf. The drive was nice, although our driver James did stop the car to watch two dogs fornicating. The conversation then lurched onto a David Attenborough like speil by Theo who's family breeds dogs and has spent a lot of time watching David running around with wolves.

Sadly we were not allowed to enter Police bay. Being polite has its disadvantages, we should have just waltzed through like we own the place. The problem is that Police bay is owned by the King of Abu Dhabi and we were clearly not him.

Not discouraged in the lightest we made our way to the nearest shop and purchased essentials.

And a large pink bucket.

It took us about 15 minutes to find out next stop an idyllic and very welcoming small beach. This was to be our home for the rest of the sunlight hours.

For the rest of the afternoon we capered around, some of us more energetically than others. Theo took some remarkable photos that I will share with you.

We made ourselves more than known to the native fauna.

I shouldn't have batted an eyelid when James suggested a nude photo shoot but I did. Theo joined him and Craig took the photos. I chortled as the beach seemed to empty before my eyes.

I went for a paddle out into the waves. It was the kind of day you wish would never end. The beer did end. We got more. We eventually retreated back to the boat as the Sun set. Some of us had a party to play at.

Brent the pocket battler was to have left the next day for Milan so we commandeered the nearest bar and grill for a farewell party. I played three chunks of music over the night. For as long as I have been on tropical islands I have wanted to listen to my kind of music. It was impossible in the Carribean. The closest thing I found to good music was a sushi restaurant on Saint Martin. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and gained a couple of fans. Some people are starved for good music on the Seychelles it seems. Others are blissfully unaware.

We had a ceremony for Brent at 12am when his birthday kicked in. Something went a bit wrong as he ended up drinking chunks of glass. Brent did the worm(break dancing worm). It was stifling hot. At about 2:30 things winded up as the bar staff wanted to go home. I walked my gear home and Brent followed behind to eat my toasted sandwich and tell me what a great guy I am. I went to sleep content and slightly worried about the burnt toast smell. We burn a lot of toast in our toaster and burnt toast equals fire alarm.

It had been planned the night before that we would recreate our epic day with a different bunch of people. The first surprise of the day was finding that Brent had missed his flight to Milan. This was hilarious and it became abundantly clear that there was a reason for it.

The reason was this stunning beach which was a perfect place to spend a day. We even found beer, and  made this advert.

Despite doing his best to be somewhat put out about missing his flight to Milan, Brent seemed to take the trauma quite well.

We knew we were doing something right when a boat load of Russians turned up to try and crash our party. By this stage we were quite hungry so we took a long drive to the nearest Japanese restaurant.

The Japanese restaurant was part of a resort and I think I would like to spend a day by the pool.

The food was fabulous, they even made very drinkable Mojitos and espresso martinis. With Sunset approaching we had one more destination, the Sunset.

Coral Island resort backs onto a great beach with a great vista of the sunset. Let me show some photos and they can talk for me.

And that my dear friends is my recipe for an EPIC weekend. The only way it could have possibly been better if it had been with you.

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

She Sells Seychelles

I think it is safe for the cat to escape the bag. The mystery location that I have mysteriously arrived in is the glorious collection of Islands called the Seychelles. The journey was uneventful, there was a boat ceremony which involved throwing days old rotting food at people who have not been across the equator. Naturally I declined such an offer and barricaded myself in my cabin. It was bought to my attention the very next day that I missed a centuries old custom. I may not be centuries old, yet but I do have some sense of dignity which is still very intact., silly me.

I was asked to give a hand outside when we came into port. I had not been outside for a few days, usually going outside for me entails going up a mast or something equally exciting. The warm clime and stunning water was definitely a tonic for the soul.

Thankfully our owner visited the next day throwing us into disarray and chaos that only a Boss visit can provide. The highlight of the trip for me was getting my epaulettes. Not only are my epaulettes three striped works of art they have lightning bolts which are a nice nod to my internet handle. Thanks universe for that bit of magic.

I am not at liberty to discuss any details of the trip but I would like to say that when I become incredibly rich I do not want a huge entourage just a man that makes me cups of tea. A tea man if you will.

With our boss departing just as soon he he arrived we got a day off yesterday. I spent my day doing Dan things. With the pocket battler departing us this weekend I have been preparing a selection of tunes to play at his farewell. There is a a quite nice bar that is very close and we have schmoozed the manager quite sufficiently.

Other than that, I wont go on to much about how warm it is or how beautiful things are or even how our Captain is going to move the boat out to anchor this week so we can go for a swim under the guise of testing equipment.


Sunday, 1 April 2012


Having a quite rigid employment contract means I have to be quite vague about where I am going and can only really write about where I have been long after I have left. This is not how I am used to doing things but so be it.

I can safely announce that I have been to Salahah in Oman. If Salahah is on your list of destinations to visit I am happy to inform that the locals are very friendly and make better taxis than the taxis. There is a wonderful Seamans club called the Oasis which is like an RSL or Golf Club house. It quite literally is an Oasis.

Where to from here?

Well South, South and more South. About four days of South. I shall traverse the Equator for my first time on a vessel and will end up somewhere tropical. I am certain it will be very topical.