Monday, 24 May 2010

The El Fuerte Supplmental

Note: I wrote this supplemental before El Fuerte left me. Now he has gone I thought it was time to tidy it up and publish for his merriment and hopefully yours.

The continuing revelation that is El Fuerte deserved a supplemental entry to help explain this smouldering enigma from Spain.

With more research I have discovered some defining points of his life which have shaped him.

El Fuerte goes crazy at the mere mention of water parks. Water should be enjoyed with others.

Following successful football games the people of Vigo descend upon America square to engage in wild celebrations including a huge communal bath in the otherwise lonely fountain.



If Spain wins the world cup, the wild communal baths will drench the region and possibly cause a flooding of biblical proportions.

The horse hatred is learned at an early age in his region of Spain. Witness this 'celebration' it is from El Fuerte's region as well.



El Fuerte is also gangster. He preformed a wedding rap at his wedding. So bad .




Spain has successfully ripped off American comic books. They even have a super hero called Captain Spain instead of Captain America. El Fuerte is currently applying to be in survivor Spain. His plan is to win and to buy a small island, maybe Australia or part of new Zealand

I shared navigation watch duties with El Fuetre. He had an interesting taste in music. In between rock and pop we got to listen to Spanish power ballads. My formidable Espanola skills let me pick out words but they were helpfully translated for me.

Some of the better lines were.

I will dance on your grave
I would rather be a pirate

Some song a famous guy wrote about three muggers who left him alone on the condition that he wrote a song about them.

Never talk history with El Fuerte. Spain still owns half of the world you see. I think the Spanish discovered New Zealand as well. They just found a disturbing lack of siesta and went somewhere else for a sleep.

In the last weeks in El Fuerte's company there was a worrying trend.

He started to swear a lot. He started to take the piss a lot. He also was very worried about watching the world cup.

El Fuerte's exit was probably carefully timed. He had started to become weak like Uncle Fil and I. Safely in Vigo he will be able to watch football uninterrupted by wash downs. He can kill horses in peace. He can take a communal bath. He can even rap on the streets.

Adios fuerte. Que el caballo sea con vosotros.
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