Thursday, 7 May 2009

Mo Pain and No Gain

Last year I wrote from the bowels of unemployment summing up a typical day. This purging let out some of angst I had been feeling at my lot in life. It seems fitting after a suitably momentous day that I return to this form of writing.

12:30 am Rude awakening by some drunk Australians who may be living in the same apartment. One of them may have had a shower. I dream of strangling Koalas.

4:30 am Rude awakening by my restless subconscious. I must have a lot to do today. I have awoken before my alarm.

4:55 am Alarm time. My foot hurts. Get a load of my foot.

6:13 am Leave apartment and get in car.

6:30 am Join the magnificent A8 super motorway on our way to Marseilles.

7:45 am First heated discussion over directions.

8:00 am The magnificent A8 has a price.18 Euros to be exact.

8:05 am What is this rush hour traffic I am experiencing?

8:15 am Arrive in Marseilles. It is over run with fishing boats. There might be one Super Yacht but it could be a navy frigate.

8:25 am Buy coffee so we can use a toilette.

8:30 am Wander the streets. Play at being dumb tourists. There are no Super Yachts.

9:45 am Hungry. We have no spoons for our tinned food. Buy more coffee so we can steal a spoon. We are now fugitives in a foreign land.

10:00 am. F**K Marseille lets go to the next port

10:30 am Oooo isn't it pretty. Still no Super Yachts

11:00 am Lets go to Cassis !

11:20 am Get tired. Decide to take a nap. Co pilot fidgets relentlessly. Nap abandoned. Continue journey.

12:00 pm Get terrified driving around in Cassis. Still no Super Yachts.

12:15 pm Second heated discussion over directions

12:30 pm Let us go to Toulon!

13:14 pm Toulon sucks. Sonny Bill you are retarde.

13:17 pm Random French man yells at us from a roof top building for walking the docks

13:22 pm There are still no Super Yachts.....

13:26 pm Let us go back to the port we may have seen from the A52. It could have been a mirage......

13:33 pm After nearly driving into a parked Citroen because I left the car in gear. I nearly back into an Aston Martin Vantage. Luckily the owner is on hand to put his kidneys in the way. I relinquish all driving duties.

14:22 pm Those are definitely super yachts...... but they are not in any water.

15:22 pm Absolutely terrifying but heartening experience walking a dry dock. Huge gantries that could lift an Imperial star destroyer.

16:00 pmLet us go home.

16:10 pm Sh*t we are back in bloody Toulon. Toulon proves almost impossible to leave.

16:25 pm Stop in a gas station to get some food. Very heated discussion on a wide range of highly charged subjects. Second attempt at nap. This time I fidget all through co pilots nap.

17:10 pm Start long drive home.

18:40 pm Miss Antibes off ramp. Drive to Nice. Sick of looking at ports by now.

19:00 pm Finally home.

What an incredible day!







Post a Comment