Wednesday, 22 October 2008

A Tornado in the Sheets

Shame on you for coming here expecting a saucy sordid tale. I shall leave those to other lesser publications. This blog entry is about my mildly odd sleeping habits which now only seem more odd after spending a few months in beds of differing efficacy.

Let me describe my prerequisites for a good nights sleep and you can be the judge. Perhaps you are more odd. Please share with a comment or two. It could make me feel positively normal.

First things first. I must have something covering me whilst I am asleep. I require at least one layer of something to soothe my skin. During my wilder and considerably younger days at computer lan parties I have used curtains and floor liberated carpet to keep me warm and away from prying eyes.

To moderate my temperature I must have at least one foot exposed to the outside air. It does not matter if it is zero degrees Celsius or 35 degrees. To achieve this I must detach sheets, duvets and blankets from the bottom and my side of the bed.

After sleeping for an hour or so I start to rotate in an anticlockwise direction. This in turn removes the last vestiges of a made up bed and leaves my wife waking up shivering lying beside a slow moving tornado.

Short of strapping myself into a single bed I do not have a solution for this problem. Perhaps I am just a male.

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