Monday, 16 June 2008

You need Balls to Paint your Nails

Seriously. Imagine the rush of euphoria, when just 5 minutes ago it dawned upon me that I can freely paint my nails once more. Painting my nails has in the past served me well. Now, if you are not horrified at this thought then read on.

- I have incredible hands. They are probably my defining feature. Painting the nails on my hands serves to enhance a beautiful sight.

-Painting ones nails is calming. Its a nice thing to do for yourself. The fumes are positively stimulating in a stifling way.

-Once you paint your nails as a man you automatically filter and amicably antagonize boring people. Let me expand upon this.
* Women with poor nails feel threatened and otherwise confused
* Men with issues are confounded by a tall man, with a full head of hair who has radiantly good nails.

-I love primary colours. I am not fashionable in the slightest. I have only one rule. Only a fool breaks the 3 colour rule. Painting my nails in bright primary colours serves to reinforce my only rule of fashion.

-There is some skill in painting nails. Its not easy. If you do a good job of painting your nails, you immediately garner respect from other nail painters.

See. There is method in my madness. Now excuse me. I must paint my nails.

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