Saturday, 28 June 2008

Snow is Crap

I have learned during my time on the Internet that controversy generates traffic. So consider this post a shallow but fantastically clever salvo during my fight to stay in your minds. My one sided debate will be free of interjections and will compel you to stay away from snow at all costs. It is not nice stuff at all!

Let us begin with the moot.

Snow represents Winter. Nobody likes winter therefore nobody should like snow?

Alas if only this were this simple. Tourism hot spots, doctors, liquor companies, fluro dye manufacturers and other industries are all involved in the world wide conspiracy that snow is indeed fun.

Do not get me wrong. I think snow does have its uses. It helps to obscure otherwise ugly landscapes. Thats about it. Snow does have a use.

But really, snow is cold. Snow is wet. Snow is hard. How many of you snow lovers roll around in car parks during your wet winter weekends?

In fact the best thing about snow to my knowledge is drinking inordinate amounts of alcohol after falling down on this cold, hard wet stuff all day. This is of course if you have not managed to break a limb in which case you get to go straight to the doctors and get filled up on less traditional anesthetics.

Now I am the last person to inform about fashion but the peacock pageantry that accompanies snow is disturbing. Puffy, gaudy and unflattering it is right up my alley but when everyone else is wearing the same thing it rapidly loses its appeal.

I have a news flash for people that take part in winter sports. Summer has better ones.

Even more laughable is the Mardi Gras that accompany the opening of snow seasons. I mean let us compare the best examples of contrasting events.


vs


People that have *enjoyed* this snow this weekend. I welcome your comments as you creak in your chairs, sniffling, feeling all of your years. I do not need the snow to do this on a winters morning.
Post a Comment