Sunday, 15 June 2008

The Problem with Leaving...

...Is that you have to leave. "Hang on a second, you haven't actually gone anywhere Dan?" Ah but I have, my mind has wandered. My chi has left the building. My nights are spent dreaming my future. My work induced nightmares have ceased.

4 score years ago -well four years ago but four score sounds more impressive- I proudly proclaimed after weathering the most monstrous moving malaise; "The next time we move it will be overseas!" and this is largely true.

We are moving overseas but to parts unknown. Some of you will recognise the immense satisfaction in not having a physical address. I would put it right up there with being naked, and it is slightly more socially acceptable. Homeless and naked? Well the mind boggles but I will leave that for a future blog.

To have no fixed address you must first rid yourself of your abode. We have sold our house but the internal workings of our house must be distributed amongst our extended tribe. Things have to be dispersed in a logical sequence. Otherwise you might find you have a perfectly functioning tv but no DVD player(apparently, so I have heard)

If you don't have a fixed address you should not have a fixed job. But be warned. If you do not have a job you might find it tricky to deal with banks and other such institutions. This is nothing a well placed business card can not fix.

If you do not have a fixed address, receiving mail will be challenging. Get friendly with a tree, or other such object which has strong roots and is not going anywhere. Families are great for this. Just make sure it is not a family of snails.

Closing off accounts for various services takes patience. Take the time to settle your accounts before closing them. If you do not, you may find it hard(again so I have heard)

Saying goodbye to everyone is hard as well. Especially when people say goodbye and they do not know who you are. Again use your business card.

Thankfully people are very understanding of the tumultuous times one faces when having no fixed address. This is why the vagabonds and rogues that frequent built up areas; to curse and imbibe chemicals of dubious efficacy are given so much respect. Imagine if they were naked as well.

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