Sunday, 22 November 2020

Flight mode

I am a big fan of enabling flight mode when I am asleep.  My meditation teacher turns his entire wifi off when we do a check-in. There is research to suggest WIFI has an effect on the way your brain operates.  This weekend past I did something truly radical.

I used flight mode for a whole day. 

My rationale was this. It was large friends and family bbq. Everyone that was important to me was right in front of my face. Cataloguing the gathering would only serve me to take me away from it. The only problem I struck was only taking one phone but I did crowd source some from some of the attendees. 

Like their cancer-producing cousins' Cigarettes, I would hope cell phone use becomes like going outside for a cigarette. Germany has some interesting labour laws which make it impossible to receive work-related emails outside of work hours. Being instantly accessible does alter your immediate cognizance. 

If you are worried about missing an important call you could get the same result by disabling mobile data and wifi. You will still get phone calls.

I have a wedding to attend this Friday and I shall be doing the same. 






Monday, 9 November 2020

Boiling Frogs and other Nonsense

Early into 2019 I really felt like I had clocked life. Then like all good movies something went wrong. 

In the process of things going wrong, I learned a lot about life and myself in general.

I had my DNA sequenced. Sadly there were no strands of Alien DNA but I can categorically say I am 51% Western European this explains my affinity with parts of Europe I thought I had no connection with but could feel something. I am also 49% UK, Irish/Scottish/Welsh. No English, this explains why I find it *interesting* serving underneath them.

Anyway, during my spectacular birthday month, I was given some nail polish.

I used to wear nail polish about 20 years ago.

I got thinking could I get away with it at work if it matched the uniform.

Then I remembered if you want to boil frogs you do it slowly they dont even notice they are boiling alive.

On a Monday I painted my thumbs.

The next Wednesday I painted my little fingers.

And on the Friday I painted all my fingers.

Nobody said a word. 

There is nothing wrong about feeling different. How you express this is up to you. I have some good stories.

I have new living arrangements. I believe I have told all people close to me what has happened. If you have to know more you can email me.  

I am certainly enjoying having my own space. I guess I felt like a visitor at my old place.

Also, it is a sad fact that not many scientific discoveries have been found in a marriage. 

2020 has made me very aware of time and how I best use it.

Stay subscribed.

I am my Magnum Opus. 

Sunday, 8 November 2020

You are doing a good job.

One of my more favourite part of my daily rounds on board is somewhat sarcastically and self deprecatingly tell people these simple words. 

That one still has a job in such perilous times is no mean feat. 

If I am talking to you. You probably have some experience in my cavalier disregard to most ordinances and social norms.  

If you are reading this it is probably doubly so  

You are doing a good job.

There is no user manual for life. Research and write your own  


Wednesday, 4 November 2020

My Kingdom for an R2

 As precluded I have been finding my fingers a bit cumbersome these days. I have also been finding my bag a pain in the ass. Charging devices is a chore. Lugging a speaker is annoying, Carrying things, in general, is a chore. I would also like an AI that I can talk to where ever I am.

What I would like is a multipurpose mule who follows me about with all of the above an R2 unit basically.

I have also been finding driving a tad unfulfilling I am used to another department being in charge of Navigation. In the next five years, I want a self-driving lounge with face together seats and a place for my R2 to dock.

Bookmarked for posterity. 




To B1 or not to B2

During my many drives in the past three weeks, I did come up with a rough draft of the following. I do need a better method for taking notes. Pulling over to thumb my phone seems barbaric. Stay tuned.

One of my lesser-known bullet points on my Resume is a B1B2 U.S.A visa. This Visa allows me to enter and exit the USA for multiple periods for work and as a tourist. These typically last 10 years for a New Zealand citizen. My last one issued in Florence, Italy expired in October.

I did actually look at doing this twice in the middle of the year but COVID had other ideas.

The actual process is quite painfully traumatic at the start but relatively easy at the end. After telling a website my movements in and out of the USA for 10x years, employment history and a lot of superfluous information an appointment is booked. 

I had two cancellations before my live interview on the 20th of October. 

I went to this interview suitable attired and painted. I did have a good friend question my relative lack of toned downness but I did have a Trump card.


Well earned and a wee bit hard to discuss freely.

Also if there is one thing this administration has taught us. You can be very good looking and completely incompetent to pass as a civil servant. I freely identify with these traits on good and bad days.





Monday, 2 November 2020

Daddy Butler

In stolen moments during my time at home I have thought about the benefits of having a Butler. 

I spend half of the year not having to think about what I will eat or doing laundry. My sheets are ironed, fitted sheets folded and things are relatively easy. I think robotics will have arrived before I have to think about aged care but in the meantime, a real butler would be quite nice.

I then got thinking when I am solo parenting I am somewhat of a butler for the young master of the house.

A Daddy Butler. 

Dario finds this phrase hilarious and Daddy Butler was born. 

Thursday, 15 October 2020

The Final Mile

If I have written about this before you will have to excuse my age-related decline. 

One thing I have learned about long-distance travel in my years is the last hop can be the worst. It can be an evaporating driver, traffic congestion, or an odd delay.

Imagine my surprise when last Friday this occurred. 

I landed in Auckland at about 5:30pm from Rotorua. There is a new regional Koru lounge at the airport and after having a very sober isolation I thought I would give the local libations a good going over.

I started with a couple of (de)ciders and sampled some of the buffet to fortify my stomach. The (de)ciders went down very well so I thought I would throw a couple of Gin and Tonics down my throat before my 7:30pm flight. I was feeling pretty good about life and then boarded my plane.

The flight was soon all seated and I busied myself reading Air New Zealand paraphernalia from the seat pocket in front of me. Imagine my surprise when a very embarrassed co-pilot had to make this announcement.

"I am very sorry but I lost my pen on the flight down and I have had to get an Engineer to dismantle the cockpit to find the pen we will be delayed by 30 minutes or so"

Imagine my abject horror at this announcement. It took me screaming back to work a couple of weeks ago. It was all too familiar. I started messaging my Chief on board with some very colorful language.

"WTF"

"Why do we need pens in 2020 to fly planes?"

"Why do we need Aircraft Engineers to find pens?"

"&@^#^&@#^&@"

Eventually, the pen was found and we were able to fly. Unfortunately, I had not counted on this delay and had to wake the passenger beside me to use the facilities on a 30-minute flight. This sparked up a conversation with the comatose passenger beside me and the rest of my flight went swimmingly.

Today I was asked for some feedback on my flight. I shall send them a link. Penless planes what do you think?








Wednesday, 14 October 2020

The (G)Holden Ratio

As I emerged from the womb that is managed isolation I was reminded of something I learned working at sea.

In my experience, three out of four Kiwis are good people. If you have four on a boat usually one will be an odd egg. Starved of conversation, I rapidly indulged myself in banter with the mostly good people of Rotorua. I bandied words with a member of the Army who helped me with my bags.

I caught an Uber to a rental car location. The driver was very personable and was driving an electric car the same as my own. It was only a $7 fare but I squeezed that ride for every cent. 

The Gentleman at Hertz was a nice bloke. We commiserated about isolation. One of my thoughts earlier in the day was that a firm punishment in prison is to be given solitary confinement. I think a firmer punishment would be to be placed in a hotel room with an estranged partner or child for two weeks. 

Collecting my rental car I spent about 10 minutes reacquainting myself with the familiarity of being in the driver's seat, pairing devices, etc. Excuse me for sounding a bit posh but my last two car drives had been in S Class Mercedes strictly as a passenger.

I very conveniently had some familiar faces to spend some time within Rotorua before my flight so after setting up my GPS I pulled very gently out onto the road and started driving (sedately). Unfortunately, I was driving a bit too sedately for someone in a Golden Holden. I unintentionally had ruined his life by driving slowly in my embryonic state. He roared his engine and then did a strange maneuver which I guess would be equivalent to doing the fingers. 

I smirked to myself my ratio was proven correct.

And to be fair everyone who drives a Holden is a wanker. 

Friday, 9 October 2020

Leveling up

Today is my Son's 4th Birthday. Sadly given my location and logistics, I will not see him today. But we had a good korero this morning. He had some unique thoughts about attaining the age of 4.

He has demanded that the training wheels be taken off his bicycle. He also thinks he can automatically wear shoes that don't fit and clothes he has not been able to wear.

This is Gamer theory. As you attain new levels in a game you gain new abilities or costumes and flair.

For all of the time, I have had in the last 2 weeks I have not played any games. Which is quite astonishing. I still have two hours though so I might gain a level or two :-).